Archive for July, 2008

July 8, 2008

“Productivity” Tools

by jarrodmartin1

My Problem with Productivity

I have a problem.  I love new stuff, new apps, new add-ons for Firefox, new styles, new phones, new laptops, and new socks.

And, I like to disguise my love of new things as a way to increase my “productivity.”  I see so many people doing this, especially me.  They buy the latest gadget to simplify their life (e.g. PDA, cell phone, remote control garage door opener, the Clapper), and that same gadget actually multiplies the number of hours they spend working on the task that should have gotten easier.  (Scientific reports have proven that you spend more energy clapping for the lights to come on than it would take to just get out of bed and walk to the switch.  No, really.  Okay, I dont’ know that, but seriously…does the Clapper really work?  It it does, why doesn’t everyone have one?)

Rationalizations…

“If I just had a new Tilt phone, I wouldn’t spend as much time at home reading emails.  I’d be able to spend so much more time with my family!”

“The reason I don’t run in the mornings is because I have very old shoes that won’t support my feet.  I need new running shoes to get back into shape!”

“If I had a smaller laptop, I would be much more organized.  I wouldn’t have to lug around a heavy bag, and I could pull it out to write in simple notes so I wouldn’t forget things.  I need an Asus!”

Technology Axioms

  • If the “new” thing doesn’t help you spend more time doing the things you love to do, then it isn’t a productivity tool.
  • If you spend more time trying to figure out how to make your productivity tool more productive than doing actual work, then it isn’t a productivity tool.
  • Productivity tools are designed so you can get more done in less time.  If you find yourself using all your extra time doing more, then your productivity tools aren’t working.

Making Boots

What I’m trying to learn is how to filter out the “productivity tools” that actually take more time from my already busy schedule.  What really works?  What really doesn’t work?  What would make my life harder, if I didn’t use them?  What do I need to stop using?

In the book 1984, part of the way the government controls the economy is to keep them producing boots, bullets, tanks, and all supplies, but there are never enough boots, bullets, tanks, and supplies.  The people are feel “productive” because they keep making so many of these things.  In fact, the government celebrates the number of boots and tanks produced!  But, there’s never enough.  There never will be.

I think that’s the way so many of us live.  We keep producing boots, but we never fill the quota.  And our speed and skill at producing boots doesn’t affect how hard and long we work at it.  We just keep producing boots.  And we live with this false sense of what “productivity” is.

Productivity shouldn’t enslave us; it should free us.

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July 5, 2008

Marriage Mind Control

by jarrodmartin1

I read something a few days ago in Marcus Buckingham’s book The One Thing that really struck me.  He said in his research on marriages, the one factor that made for a happy marriage is the perceptions a person holds of his or her spouse.  In other words, if you want a happy marriage, work on your perception of your spouse, not your spouses weaknesses.

The relationships that found faults in one another, tried to help the other person “improve,” and tried to have a more truthful perception of one another, reported being less happy than the couples that always thought the best of each other.

The reason that strikes me as odd is because it seems to go against reason and modern marriage advice.  Compatibility tests warn couples to make sure that they have similar interests in the 7 or 9 or 13 key areas before they marry.  Counselors admonish couples to have a hobby and spend time together in that hobby.  And all of these are fine, but the ONE THING that loving couples can do is to be Pollyanna.

So, as I thought about this, I thought of some ways to work on my perceptions and how to build them, which seems so crazy.  Am I deluding myself?  Tricking my own brain?  Or, practicing blind love?

  • tell my wife at least once a day that she is beautiful (not that she isn’t, but she is constantly worried about her weight and appearance and she compares herself to other women — and I don’t want to start doing that, so I want to protect my perception of her beauty)
  • when we argue, remind myself that she is strong and independent (which I like)
  • think of her as a saver of money and a generous giver
  • compliment her in public for being a patient, caring wife and mother

The amazing thing about this practice of perceptions is that research reports that perceptions actual produce reality.  As you think about your spouse in positive ways, he or she will become more like your perceptions.  And the inverse is true — if your preceptions are negative, you will produce in your spouse the very qualities you don’t like.

This is a powerful truth.  We have the power to encourage and build up our spouses.  We have the choice to feed and nourish our marriage or to destroy it — with our thoughts and perceptions of one another.

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July 1, 2008

Love and Traffic

by jarrodmartin1

One of my favorite lines from the movie The Renaissance Man perhaps sheds insight into our perceptions of love.  Bill Rago (Danny Devito) is working on a military base as a teacher after being fired from his job in advertising.  One day, he’s late for his class, and he’s making excuses for the traffic — “You ever notice when you’re running late, they radio-dispatch all slow drivers to stop traffic.” Or, something like that — my memory fails me right now for the exact wording.

But, that’s the way I feel.  When I drive, I get very annoyed by other drivers, especially when I’m late.  And here’s what I’m thinking the entire time:  if they weren’t such slow drivers, I’d probably make it on time.  See what I’m doing?  Suddenly, I’ve relieved myself of guilt for being late, and now I can blame traffic or old people or tractors, or whatever is in my way.  Not my lateness.

I think we treat our relationships the same way sometimes: 

I wouldn’t get so angry if she wouldn’t…

Well, if he would just stop …, then I wouldn’t react that way.

I know I was a little..., but that’s because she was so….

We blame the traffic.  And, most of the time, the traffic is inconsequential.  It’s what happened before the traffic showed up.  It was a lack of communication, a lack of kindness, an insensitive word, an expectation set too high.

Love deserves honesty, and I’m learning to be honest about my own faults first.

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